The time I thought I was being cheesy...

During the 2020-2021 school year, I led a cohort with some of the best leaders in college athletics. 

Once a month, from August through May, we would hop on a Zoom call and discuss leadership topics. It was one of the most fruitful experiences of my life.

Before the May cohort, which was the last one, I had the idea of doing an affirmation exercise. It was an exercise that I had done with my family. 

My wife and I had started a tradition early in our kids' lives of allowing them to choose the restaurant they wanted to eat at when it was their birthday.  Because we didn't eat out much, this was a big deal.

At dinner, we would take turns affirming the person who was celebrating their birthday. 

So as we were approaching the last cohort, I thought of our family tradition and decided to do that with the leaders in the cohort.

On the day of our last cohort, I had a mini panic attack. About ten minutes before the cohort was to start, I had this thought..."This is going to be cheesy. These are the best in the world at what they do and I am about to do an exercise that I do with my family. Why did I ever think this would be a good idea?"

Because it was ten minutes until the start of the cohort and I had no backup plan, I had to roll with it. 

"Welp, here goes nothing."

Once everyone was logged on to Zoom, I explained what we were going to do. As I explained, and because of my insecurity, I was totally cued into each participant's facial expression and body language. 

"We are going to go around and spend some time affirming each other. I will pick one person and we will all tell that person what we appreciate about him, or what value he has added to this group over the last nine months. Sound good?"

And then the craziest thing happened...

The best of the best were affirming each other and I had a sense that this was actually impacting them. 

The feedback I got from each of them was really powerful. They loved the exercise. 

Here is what was reiterated to me that day- encouragement and affirmation might be one of the most powerful things you can give a person. It doesn't matter if they are a 13-year-old girl (my daughter Ellie's age at that time) or a hall-of-fame coach. 

In the years since I did this exercise, I have learned one more lesson- those in leadership positions, especially those at the top of the org chart, rarely if ever hear sincere, thoughtful words of encouragement. 

They hear criticism but rarely affirmation. 

If they do a good job, well, that is expected. 

If they make a mistake or flub something, they hear it from all sides. 

Take some time today and tell your boss one thing that you appreciate about him/her. Then tell those you work with one thing that you appreciate about them. Then tell your family one thing you appreciate about them. 

It will be like water to their soul! And it just might be the best gift they receive this Christmas season.

Merry Christmas!

CLICK here to order my book The Leadership Greenhouse

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One of my weekly disciplines is scouring the internet for articles/tweets I can learn from and/or use with those I work with. Below are two that I hope help encourage and equip you.

Article 1-  How easily do you get offended?

Article 2- Powerful story

Podcast: Tod Brown, Baseball Coach, U of New Mexico. Turning New Mexico around!

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