Human patterns
When working with clients, I am essentially focused on the following equation...
identify signature strengths + minimize constraints = elite leadership = elite organization
I ask this question to myself "What's their strengths and when those strengths get overplayed or twisted, what does that look like?"
If I can help people understand their signature strengths and help them identify and avoid the constraints to those strengths, that leader is going to raise his level of leadership!
And when a leader grows and gets better, everyone in the organization has the potential to get better.
I see patterns in people. Once I see a pattern emerge, I ask questions to help identify how the emerging pattern plays out in their leadership.
Over the next several weeks I am going to share several patterns. These patterns have nuance to them and don't always hold true, but they are heuristics or mental models that can help us make sense of ourselves or others.
Human Patterns
This week I am going to flesh out two patterns I see in leaders
1. People people
2. Emotional people
Pattern 1: People people
People people have some awesome strengths.
-They can connect with others.
-They can make others feel valued and affirmed.
-They often love to serve others.
In general, they help others feel warmth, welcomed, and loved.
However, their constraint comes when this love of people turns to people pleasing. The pattern is often "I love people" that turns to "I need people to love me."
When they need people to love and adore them, several things happen:
-they avoid having hard conversations and holding people accountable.
-criticism or critique crushes them.
Possible helps
One mindset that might help is this: the most loving thing you can do for those whom you lead is to challenge and help them to be their very best. This would include having hard conversations and holding them accountable.
People people often have a high likeability factor. People usually really like them. People people need to leverage that likeability to have hard conversations and hold people accountable.
And lastly, I love this quote by Andrew Arndt "To the degree you are moved by praise, you will be crushed by criticism."
Use criticism to move you to be better not paralyze or wound you!
Pattern 2: Emotional People
Emotional people have some awesome strengths.
-They are often in tune with other people's emotions.
-They can leverage their emotions to help elevate the performance of those around them (fiery, emotional speeches, etc)
-They can often connect in deep ways with others...especially when someone is going through tough times.
Their constraint comes when their emotions get overplayed or played at the wrong time.
Emotional people can often feel inconsistent and all over the place. They can also feel volatile.
They are much like fire.
Fire is super useful when controlled. You can cook meals and keep you and your family warm with it (just to name a few uses).
Fire is also super dangerous. When fire is out of control, it can burn down houses and cause tremendous damage.
Emotions are the same way. Controlled they can bring out the best in those you are leading. When out of control, they can cause major damage.
One coach whom I have worked with fits in the emotional category. He has learned to be himself but also manage his emotions in high-stress scenarios. He is careful to use his emotions to increase performance and not create chaos.
Possible helps
Call it what it is. Tell those you are leading that you can be highly emotional. Then when you are highly emotional, they are not totally caught off guard.
Remember that as a leader, everyone is watching you. Remember that how you respond is how, over time, your people will respond.
Practice creating space between event and reaction. This might help you respond in ways that are appropriate and actually leverage your emotions for good.
Practice self-control to 'live another day.'
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One of my weekly disciplines is scouring the internet for articles/tweets I can learn from and/or use with those I work with. Below are two that I hope help encourage and equip you.
Article 1- This has been all over the internet...but still thought I'd share.
Article 2- I love these quick hitters that have a similar thread running through them.
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Here is a testimony from a 1 on 1 client: "Travis has helped me become a better leader. Travis has helped me organize my thoughts and has given me so much clarity on how to lead on a day to day basis. There is no doubt that he is the biggest asset to my leadership and has reenergized my coaching style." Jeff Duncan, Head Baseball Coach, Kent State
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