When your purpose or why is self-centered you will use people for your gain.
Leaders are smart enough to not go “Bobby Knight” on people (at least out in the open). So leaders are disguising things much better.
But when you get to the heart, many leaders lead with a self-centered ‘why’.
We say all the right things…
– “It’s about the kids.”
– “I’m preparing them for the harsh real world.”
– “I’m hard on them because I care so much about them.”
– “I care so deeply about this company and its employees that I can’t stand to see them not be great.”
We can say all we want to the outside world…but your true why or purpose will dictate what others feel from you.
A leader’s purpose that is about others will feel very different than a purpose that is about self (my winning %, my role at the company, me climbing the coaching ladder, what others think about me, etc).
Two coaches…two different purposes.
Coach A has a purpose to pour into and develop young men or women as they are chasing a championship. He/she uses sport to develop people.
Coach B is chasing the next job and self-glory.
They both speak the same message. It’s a tough, challenging, “we have to be better” message.
The people led by Coach A feel empowered, convicted, and ready to make changes. Sure it sucks to hear they need to do better, but they don’t complain or make excuses.
The people led by Coach B feel demeaned, uninspired, make excuses and point fingers. They feel like the message hits them as people and not just their behavior.
When you get squeezed, whatever is inside will come out! |